I posted about this early on in the week on my personal facebook page. I started reading Gabby Bernstein's book again and this time I am taking away something completely different than the first time I read it. Isn't it funny the way you can get one experience one time from reading a book, then the next something completely different?!?! This time, I have come to the realization that I have been living in a place of fear for quite some time. This was a major break through for me, as it has made me aware of so much of my behavior.
I believe it all started when I lost my boys. For me, when I had such a great loss, it put my life in a completely different perspective. I was afraid of life. I was afraid of losing everyone around me. Then fast forward to having my daughter, I was always afraid of something happening to her. And when I say afraid, I mean stay up at night, having anxiety leaving her for extended periods of time etc.
When you get a glimpse of how short and delicate life can be, it puts us, or at least me, in a state of fear.
I never wanted to leave her.
This passed weekend, I did something way out of my comfort zone, I got on a plane without hubby and without Little K and flew to DC. I never leave them. I don't like to. But I realized this was an amazing opportunity and would only help me grow as a person and help my business, so I just booked it. I haven't flown for probably 8 years, because of fear. I didn't really think about it until the week leading up to the trip.
While getting on the plane, I was a nervous wreck, but I was really shocked of myself that I could calm my mind and put myself in a better mental state by choice. I truly believe in mind over matter. If we keep telling ourselves that we are too afraid to do something, we believe it. But you know what else? I realized that my state of fear was holding me back from living the life that I want for me, and for my family. Yes, it was hard leaving her for two days, but you know what? She was fine. I was able to grow as person this weekend by learning from amazing people, and in turn, I will be an even better role model for Little K.
I realized if I keep living in a state of fear, she is going to follow me in her footsteps, and that terrified me. I want her living her life to the fullest and it's up to me to live that way.
I truly believe that children learn more from what we are than from what we teach.
Am I totally cured?? NEVER!!! For me, it is important that I have become aware of these thoughts, and can recognize them as being my thoughts of fear and not what defines me. When we are aware of our thoughts, we can steer them in a different direction. The next time you have thoughts of fear, recognize them and tell yourself they are just thoughts. Now, don't go thinking that I'm going to go jump off of a plane and go sky-diving. That is completely not me, but I'm talking about everyday life. Fear can really hold ourselves back from living our dream life, and I'm not letting that hold me back anymore!!!! :) :) :)
Do you find yourself living in a place of fear? How do you overcome this?