Have you ever found yourself in the mix of a child having a temper tantrum, with little to no sleep, with a baby screaming crying at a store, and looked over and a mother says, "Enjoy it! It goes by so fast and you will wish you had this time back!" I know that they all mean well, and can probably remember being in that same spot and regretting how much they wished their time away. The years really are precious, but geez, there are definitely moments when we feel like we could crumble away to nothing.
Being completely sleep deprived for one, does not make anything easy. Functioning on broken sleep for years is a difficult one. Yes, James is 10 months old and still gets up every night typically 2 times, sometimes 1, and sometimes 3. And yes, sometimes I think to myself, I can't wait for him to grow up so I can get at least a solid 7 hours of sleep. Man, what that would do for my mentality and skin, lol!
And then there is my sweet almost 4 year old. She has been giving me a run for my money lately. This sweet girl definitely knows what she wants at all times of day. I'm in the mix of it. And yes there are blissful moments when I can't believe that they are mine, and life seems so perfect, but then there are moments when I have a 3 year old screaming about going to be at 8:30 at night when I have been up since 4 on very little sleep. And it's ok if I want those moments to go away. I'm human. We all are.
I knew motherhood wasn't going to be a breeze in the park, but I had no idea it was going to be this tough.
So yes, I do wish away the tough times. I think any Mom does. It's natural. But taking the pressure off of ourselves to have it all together with young children certainly helps. Doing what we can and the best we can in our moments is all we can do. If we sometimes daydream about the days when our children want to go in their rooms for hours, that's ok! It will happen some day, and I get what you are saying when you tell us to enjoy it now, as it doesn't last forever, but validating that it was difficult when you had young kids to me, makes me feel like I'm not alone.
I found myself beating myself up mentally when I would daydream about the moment that I can sit by myself and watch a movie or a tv show of my liking. This is what has got to stop. It's ok to wish you had your life back, and I guess what they are saying is it will come back in the blink of an eye, and we will wish back the snuggle moments, and times when they only wanted us. It's about accepting the chapter that we're in right now, in this moment, and understanding that our lives have been turned upside down for the time being. But please, the next time you see a mom struggling with young children, validate how they are feeling, instead of making a comment to make them feel less adequate. Tell them you can remember those days of struggle.
Everything is a phase or a new chapter. Going against it will only cause friction and negative energy.
Accepting where we are at in our lives is half the battle.
Knowing that we are giving this chapter to develop ourselves more as a human being and are receiving a lesson from God is what keeps me at peace. It's ok to want a night alone. It's ok to to want some time away. We need it to be the Happier Mom that we are all striving to be. Everyone's happy looks different. But when you find yourself wishing away the time, or grasping for air, ask for help. Take a night off. Grab a babysitter and remember who you are. You are you. You are a mom. Don't forget about your desires.