The other night I had a rough night. Both my kiddos are sick with a cough. I still have Baby James in the co-sleeper, and Little K decided to join as well. She coughed pretty much all night long. In between both kids coughing, and nursing James, I could hear the cats puking some where in the family room. Man, when my alarm went off the last thing I wanted to do was open my eyes. I have been trying to get up at 4:30 to workout, as I know I just feel better getting my workout done first thing. That was just not happening today. To say I was mad, is putting it lightly. Of all days, it was Monday, and I know you understand that Mondays are always the days that you want to start the week off right. I snuck out of bed at 5, as I know if I wait too long, Little K will wake up. Quiet time in the morning is imperative for me to function.
Yes, most of you know me for being a positive person. I wake up with my affirmations. I read from one of my books and journal first thing. Well this morning I woke up and actually said out loud, "I hate everybody!" And I meant it! I was so tired, and the thought of doing anything that day completely overwhelmed me. I literally spent the morning sulking and having a pity party. Hubby is working a ton of over time which means most days it's just me. All I wanted to do was start checking off items on my list, and get through the day.
That's what I wanted to do.
But what do I need to do? I needed to snap out of it. I needed to slow down, and remember the things that I am grateful for. I didn't want to. I was so stuck on the fact that no one understands how hard life is right now. I wanted to continue this pity part all day. And then it hit me, after hearing my coach talk about the radio station. If we are tuned into one radio station, you can't hear any other radio station. If I was tuned into this negative spiral, having a good day wasn't possible. I needed to change the station, FAST!!!
I immediately found a gratitude meditation and started listening. I still felt the negativity in me, but I started focusing on what I was grateful for. Did it make me less tired?? No! Did it help me from pity party, yes! It's all perspective. It doesn't make life any easier, well I guess in a sense it does, but what it does is makes us stop and think. Yes, this is a really tough time in my life right now, but it won't be forever. I prayed and prayed to have two beautiful children. That's all I wanted. I was blessed to have them in bed with me. It's not that I wasn't grateful, but man, lack of sleep can really do a number on our thought process. I know a lot of you moms can relate. I'm realizing more and more that I need that meditation to get rid of the negative talks in my head. I've always been one to say I can't sit still long enough to meditate or do yoga, but you know what?? What we resist the most, we usually need the most. And this by far is what I really need. It's shifting my whole thought process.
So yes, have your pity party. Cry it out. But don't do it for longer than 10 minutes. Get out the emotions, then turn it into gratitude. There is always something to be grateful for. Always.
Do you find yourself reacting this way with lack of sleep?? What are your strategies for dealing with a pity party??